Seriously?
by Readergirl37
Summary: A fic where Elena is done everybody's crap and is brutally honest. Crack fic Elijah/Elena


AN: AN: Hey, I'm really sorry guys but something really tragic happened over here, and to cope I'm writing crack fics so I apologize, but these were on my list to do anyway. I can't write angst or plot for today. At least. I'm sorry.

I blame this on lack of sleep and watching Once Upon a Time. Inspired by the quote:

"Seriously? You're complaining about how I saved your life?"

* * *

She's a little done with the Original family. She had to find a dress in very little time, to be on guard. She had to conspire with Elijah the day before just to have a code and a way to distract the Salvatores. They're currently in their own basement, they'll wake up a few hours after the ball is over. She's been pulled into dances with Elijah's siblings, all of them want something different. Klaus wants her blood. Kol wants to flirt. Finn wants her help. Rebekah wants her head on a platter. She has no idea what Elijah wants, but if he doesn't tell her she's not going to bother helping him with it. At least his siblings are straightforward with their wants and needs.

She's just been threatened by his mother, who shouldn't even be alive. His mother took her blood and put it in the champagne, something she's definitely not drinking now. Elijah asks her how his mother was.

" _Elijah seems the most suspicious. Take the suspicion away. He trusts you."_ She remembered his mother saying. His mother also wanted to see her after the toast, just for a few minutes. She wonders when this horrible night will end. Elijah's looking at her with eyes she can't read, at least two people in this house want her dead, and her feet are _killing_ her.

Which is saying something, she thinks, because Klaus actually had _killed_ her.

* * *

She can't think of the code, her head is too busy with thoughts. So she does what comes to mind. She moves, and he moves to avoid her, which is so counterproductive. Honestly. The hallway they're in is empty, save for them. He's got his back literally against the wall and she kisses him. He responds back, and she'll deal with the consequences and her wonder that he's kissing her back. Maybe she's what he wants. Nope, no distractions.

She pulls back, and whispers against his lips, barely even audible.

"Don't drink the champagne." And then she's moved out of the hallway, before he can respond.

* * *

He tries to talk to her later, and she shakes her head, and acts like she has something on her lips. A reminder.

He gives her a tiny nod.

Thank goodness.

* * *

The champagne is passed around, and Elijah doesn't drink, to her relief. She leave to talk to his mother for a moment.

* * *

Once she's with Esther, the witch looks at her.

"You kissed my son." She says, and Elena nods.

"Elijah was getting suspicious and he fell for Tatia and Katherine. I figured he would trust me more." She lies in explanation.

"You aren't interested in him?" The witch asks. Elena shakes her head.

"Good. They should be dead within the hour. Or once all of our human guests leave." Esther says, and Elena nods.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to get out of this dress. I can barely breathe." Elena says and Esther nods sympathetically.

"Go home, Elena. The world will be free of vampires when you wake up tomorrow." The older woman says.

Elena leaves.

* * *

"Elena." It's a familiar voice, she takes a second to place it. Elijah.

"Elijah." She says, and kisses him again because she can't think of another way to do this again. She pulls back and whispers against his lips that they need to be out of the hearing range of his siblings. His arm is around her waist and then they're outdoors, she can see trees in the dark.

"Elijah, your mother is trying to kill you and your siblings. By not drinking the champagne, her plan failed, but she wants to kill you all in an hour, so you guys need to think of a game plan, because I am not going to be involved. I am going to go home and take off these shoes and you can call me when it's done if you want. Finn wants to sacrifice himself. The idea was if you were all bound together, you'd all die. If one of you dies, your entire line does. She took blood from me, because doppelganger blood helped make you, it could also kill you. Your siblings all had to drink it. Since you didn't, the spell won't work." She says as quickly as possible. She watches his face change, emotions shift into each other. She's about to ask him to vampire speed her to her car when he settles on one emotion.

"You kissed me." He says, wanting an explanation. This is not how he imagined the next few minutes to go, he'll admit.

"Because I couldn't think of an easier way to tell you. Whispering in your ear isn't exactly incognito." She explains, although part of it was to see if he was a good kisser. She's not going to tell him that.

"So you kissed me to share information?" He's a little incredulous.

"Yeah. I couldn't think of anything. Cut me some slack." She says, she's cranky and tired and she wants to crawl into bed. Fuck unpinning her hair. She'll sleep with them in, she doesn't care anymore.

"You couldn't think of another way to get that information across?" He asks. His face is neutral. She has no idea where his thoughts are.

"Seriously? You're actually complaining about how I told you your mother is trying to kill you? In case you haven't noticed, this outfit doesn't have pockets. No way to have pen and paper, Caroline has my phone. I don't know Morse code and we didn't plan for this yesterday!" She hisses. He's too attractive, she needs to move away before she does something stupid, like kiss him again. This crush that grew into something deeper needs to stop, right now. But she can't.

* * *

He kisses her, he can't help it, he wants to know if she would kiss him back if it wasn't life and death.

She does, and when he pulls away, she asks him to please escort her to her car and call her when his mother is dead. And if he's up for more kissing tomorrow. He nods. She finds herself at her car.

* * *

She gets a text forty six minutes later saying that the Original witch is dead and he wouldn't be opposed to kissing and talking the next day. Elena just grins, and falls asleep. Her feet feel much better.

* * *

FINIS


End file.
